It's Not Really Clear, But....

...did she kick him in the balls?



In any case, you go girl!!

Round-Up

Should have moved to Canada, sweetheart:

Obese South African 'too fat' for New Zealand

That excess of blubber will fit right in.

Been a bad month for train travel/transportion:

Spain mourns train crash victims

At least 35 people injured in a head-on train collision in Switzerland

And, for that matter, bus travel:

Italy crash: Bus may have lost parts of engine before collision

Don't tell Lizzy May.

For firefighters on the other hand...it hasn't been all that bad:

'Fifty Shades' blamed for kinky cuff rescues

"The erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey is being blamed after London firefighters revealed they had been called out 79 times to free kinky couple from handcuffs.

It prompted fire chiefs to urge couples to "keep the keys to hand" when experimenting with handcuffs during sex games."

[---]

"London firefighter Dave Brown said: "I don't know whether it's the Fifty Shades of Grey effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up.

"I'm sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red when our crews arrive.""

Yup. Firefighter see it all:

"Other sex-related incidents dealt with by the London Fire Brigade included men with their privates stuck in vacuum cleaners and toasters."

Ouch. Gives a whole new meaning to "hot sex", doesn't it.

Shocking News

'French Kiss' is Finally a Real Word in France

"In the language of love, the verb “galocher” — to kiss with tongues — has been elevated from gauche street slang to official recognition in Le Petit Robert 2014 French dictionary, which comes out today."

Then there's the word "inflation".

Everything You've Wanted to Know, But...

...were afraid to ask:

History of the penis: Lies, damn lies and self-measurements

Believe it or not, I've covered this subject before.

Yuk!!

I'm sure there's lots of tittering out there, but all I've got to say is YUK!! That's one butt-ugly creature.

Rare snake-like amphibian found in Brazil that looks like a penis

Another Grand Old Institution...

...in The Once Great Britain bites the dust:

Oxford University changes dress code to meet needs of transgender students

Oh well. At least it will piss off the Islamists.

I Thought This Stuff Only...

...happened in urban legends (and True Confessions, Hustler and Playboy magazines):


Cardiologist held liable in patient's death from sexual threesome

Oooookay

Great job with no strings attached: Puppetry of the Penis returns to Sydney

"Puppetry of the Penis began in Australia in 1998 and since then it has toured across the globe.

Creator Simon Morley said finding the right men with the right equipment was essential for putting on a successful show, and in this particular case, size definitely mattered."

No comment.

Living in the Back Woods, Hinterlands...

...one tends to miss a lot of the good stuff: Commodore fired for partying, nudity in Bahrain Sounds like it might have been one helluva party:

"The party — while not an official command function — included enlisted, junior officers, and even the commanding officer of her 100-member logistics task force based in Bahrain. The sight of her topless changed the party’s dynamic. Men drew closer to leer. Another woman removed her top. And a man took off his pants, exposing himself. While guests stared, all three went skinny-dipping. That’s when the commodore jumped in."

Study Debunks Common Myth That Urine Is Sterile I've heard of men standing around putting out camp fires, but washing the dishes?? Oh well. Too late now.

Now, There's a Job...

...I'd like:

Inspector on hand for erotic male show

"A Saskatoon events centre could face fines or other sanctions from the provincial government for hosting the famous Chippendales performers, an all-male erotic dance show.

The Saskatchewan Liquor and Gaming Authority (SLGA) is investigating the Odeon Events Centre after a provincial inspector visited the Chippendales event on March 17. The long-running and popular show, while featuring buff and scantily clad men, does not feature full nudity.

SLGA declined to detail the aspects of the Odeon event it is concerned with, but did say it continues to review the situation."

[---]

"No sanctions had been issued to the Odeon as of Monday, said David Morris, an SLGA spokesperson. He declined to say what the inspector was looking for at the Odeon."

Oh, I think I know what he was looking for.

At The Next Winter Olympics

Will this be the "demonstration" sport?

Those Vikings!!  Tsk!! Tsk!!

For the full flavour of the event, be sure to read the comment.

h/t: The Jawa Report

Must Have Something To Do....

...with the cold climate. But you'd think it would be the other way around, wouldn't you?

h/t SDA

BWHAHAHAHAHA!!

The big lie just became much, much easier.

"I Just Made Love app lets you tell the world where and when - and thousands already have

"The Android - and now iPhone - app lets you record where, when and even in what position you 'made love' - and then upload it to an online database - with your comments.

The Android app has already been downloaded 10,000 times."

And what's with those Poles?

"The I Just Made Love site claims to have recorded 193,000 'acts of love', along with where the event occurred and a limited amount of context - very limited, in fact, offering only the options of Inside, Outdoors, In a Car and On a Boat.

Most of the posts via the site so far seem to be in Polish - with only isolated instances of lovemaking in other countries."

Oh my!! Gives a whole new meaning to the word "pole", doesn't it!!

Ouch!! Wouldn't Want To Sit On That

...throne.

Especially if I was of the male persuasion.

Oooookay...

...I guess there is so much free love, flowers, bud and beads in Vancouver, they had to specialize and spread to the burbs: Raucous sex club parties rock B.C. neighbours

I'm not gonna quote portions of this, cause I know you're gonna read it yourself.

Okay, Is This...

...for real or is it just dirty old men seeing what they want to see?

I think it's dirty old men.

The Mind Wanders...

...as it wonders. For some reason, known only to the gods, I was thinking of Michelangelo's statue of David and the little piece that's missing.

Have you ever wondered what happened to that little piece? Did some woman lop it off and take it home with her? That'd be quite a trophy. A hard man is good to find, they say.

There are lots of male statues with various parts missing. Take this one, for instance. How did he lose his head?

Speaking of hard substances, I wonder if there's a saloon somewhere named Diamond Dick's?

Okay. I have work to do now, so I'll leave you to ponder these questions and perhaps ask a few about me.

Okay. I Rise to the Occasion...

...although I'm certain this is not quite what you had in mind. But to give you hope as you grow old - Arnie:

Don't know what I'll do next year. Maybe I'll play fair.

This One's Especially for Snoopy

...who spoke about being stoned in the Sinai Peninsula, here.

I found this on Facebook in a discussion thread on Tarek Fatah's account about - ahem - the prohibition against female masturbation as enforced by cranky old Muslim Imams and the punishments meted out to the transgressors thereof.  A commenter remarks:

"Stoned while masturbating, sounds like a fun evening to me... oh wait..!"

Now back to regular programming. Try to keep it clean.