You Really Can't...

...make this shit up, because you don't have to.

Clever plant seed smells like poop, but in this case, it’s a good thing

Sometimes The News ...

...just makes you chuckle:

Piglets run amok on Trans-Canada in Saskatchewan after truck crash

Is He Really That Bad?

I'm no fan of Barack Obama, but this seems to me to be ridiculous:

BOMBSHELL: Intelligence Officer Leaks OBAMA’S PLAN To NUKE AMERICA

Is he really planning to inflict radiation sickness on himself, his wife and his kids?

Amazing!!

Ancient Machines (Machines Of Ancient China)

Yet Another...

..."You Can't Make This Shit Up":

Violent West Point Pillow Fight Under Investigation

"The U.S. Military Academy at West Point is investigating an annual pillow fight at the school that turned bloody and left 30 cadets injured, most of them with concussions."

[---]

"The pillow fight is an annual tradition stretching back more than a century and is intended to build class spirit among incoming first year students known as plebes. Held in the school’s main courtyard it comes at the end of a summer training period before the plebes enter the academic year."

You Can't Make ...

...this shit up:
 

Man Claims To Have The Largest “Junk” In World & That Is Not All

"...the 52-year-old’s 18.9in member is so long that ladies are afraid of it.

The member hangs well below his knees and he wants his ‘gift’ to be recognised by the Guinness Book of World Records."

Somebody needs to tell him it's not length that matters, it's circumference, but I digress.

Can't A Man Get A Break?

Tim Hortons attempted robbery has Cole Harbour police investigating

All he wanted was some tim bits and he'd seen the cops eating there.

Sheesh!!

From The...

.."you can't make this shit up" file:

Hamas arrests dolphin accused of being an Israeli spy

Oh The Humanity

Stephen Harper campaign bus photographed blocking bike lane in Toronto

 Harper's campaign bus parked in Toronto bike lane

 

This Amazing Earth

Unbelievable

Wow!!!

China's solution. Not exactly what I would choose:

China Deals With Growing Muslim Problem By Shooting Muslims

Related:

Sharia Law explained:

"•  Theft is punishable by amputation of the right hand (above).
•  Criticizing or denying any part of the Quran is punishable by death.
•  Criticizing or denying Muhammad is a prophet is punishable by death.
•  Criticizing or denying Allah, the moon god of Islam is punishable by death.
•  A Muslim who becomes a non-Muslim is punishable by death.
•  A non-Muslim who leads a Muslim away from Islam is punishable by death.
•  A non-Muslim man who marries a Muslim woman is punishable by death.
•  A man can marry an infant girl and consummate the marriage when she is 9 years old.
•  Girls' clitoris should be cut (per Muhammad's words in Book 41, Kitab Al-Adab, Hadith 5251).
•  A woman can have 1 husband, but a man can have up to 4 wives; Muhammad can have more.
•  A man can unilaterally divorce his wife but a woman needs her husband's consent to divorce.
•  A man can beat his wife for insubordination.
•  Testimonies of four male witnesses are required to prove rape against a woman.
•  A woman who has been raped cannot testify in court against her rapist(s).
•  A woman's testimony in court, allowed only in property cases, carries half the weight of a man's.
•  A female heir inherits half of what a male heir inherits.
•  A woman cannot drive a car, as it leads to fitnah (upheaval).
•  A woman cannot speak alone to a man who is not her husband or relative.
•  Meat to be eaten must come from animals that have been sacrificed to Allah - i.e., be Halal.
•  Muslims should engage in Taqiyya and lie to non-Muslims to advance Islam.
•  The list goes on."

Wow!!!!!

How Can You Tell...

...there's an election coming?

And just in time:

Tories take huge lead in latest poll

You don't suppose that has anything to do with this, do you?

John Ivison: NDP MP will regret saying party’s top priority is toppling Harper government

or this?

Canada regains title as most reputable nation in the world despite Harper derangement frenzy

Ha, ha, lefties.

And then there's this:

NDP urges parents who don’t need child care cheques to donate them to party

You just can't make this shit up.

More Evidence Of Global Warming

Ever seen this before, a kangaroo feeding in the snow in Australia?

I tells ya, it makes animals do strange things.

Meanwhile, on the home front:

Normal temp for this day: 26 degrees Celsius. Today it reached 23 degrees Celsius.

Don't Mess With...

...this cat:

But What, Specifically, Did She Do???

Woman receives 9 months probation for indecent act on Halifax-bound flight

Air Canada sex act case ends with Alicia Lander getting conditional sentence

Oh. That's what she did. What about the man she did "it" with??

Plane-sex woman gets conditional sentence, probation

Joke

I tried to cut and paste this, but it didn't work.  However, it's too good the pass up:

Man Refuses An Opportunity To Be Romantic With His Wife.  What Happens Next Is Genius.

"A married couple in their 60's was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romanti little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny but beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying, "For being such an exemplary, married couple and for being loving to each other all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." says the wife.

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: "Well, this is all very romantic but an opportunity like this will not come again.  I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger that me."

The wife, and the fairy, were  deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of the story:  Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember that fairies are female."

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Abbotsford Drunk Driver Hops In Cab, But It's Actually A Cop Car

More Stuff You Can't Make Up

British Protests, Violence Mark 239 Years Since Expulsion from American Colonies

"As Americans celebrated the 239th anniversary of its independence with barbeques, parties and fireworks, Saturday was a day of rage in the United Kingdom as the British marked what they called the “Proper Mess,” British for ‘catastrophe‘. Peaceful protests against the United States’ independence turned violent, as clashes broke out between NATO troops and protesters demanding a “right of return” to the U.S. mainland.

Riots were held in London, Manchester and other major cities, as British citizens protested their expulsion from what they termed “Occupied Western England.” Many of the protesters consider themselves refugees, as their ancestors were British officials forcibly expelled from the colonies nearly 250 years ago.

“My parents, grandparents, and great-great-great grandparents may have lived in London, but my heart will always be in Philadelphia,” said Rupert Chesselwit, whose ancestors were expelled in 1776. “Baltimore and Charleston are as much a part of England as Birmingham and Leeds.”

Though there were injuries reported in several of the riots, violence did not reach the level of previous years. In 2011, four Britons were killed by the U.S. Coast Guard after storming across the Atlantic Ocean and trying to enter Virginia.

Authorities are warning of potentially more violence next month, when India celebrates its Independence Day."

More Stuff You Can't Make Up

17 Maps They Didn’t Show You In High School

I don't know which one I like best. They are all pretty good and very funny.

Maybe one of the following:

2. Frequency of Red Hair

7. Average Breast Size

8. Average Penis Size

11. Most Alcohol Consumed by Country

14. Countries That Were Never Invaded by the British

No. 15 is pretty funny, too:

Florida is crazy. Montana is for bad asses. Michigan is broke. Idaho is stupid. Kansas is flatter than a pancake. South Dakota is boring, as are Nebraska and New Hampshire and Alaska is melting. ROTFLMAO!!!!