Breaking News This Morning!!!

UPDATED AND BUMPED: The folks over at I Hate the Media have been talking about this, a bit down in the dumps about America's ranking. It's also a topic of discussion in Australia, where they are in a state of disbelief hiding behind the claim that the results could not be independently verified. I have a solution for that. Send an army of female reporters out across the globe armed with measuring tape. They won't lie about it as some of their male members might. Hm. Hm. Hm.
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Website lists penis sizes, India no. 116

Canada's rank is not mentioned in the article. However, a link is provided. But, alas, it lists countries alphabetically, not by length, but I won't let that stop me. Here's the ranking amongst the Anglo-Sphere:

Head of the pack ---- the Kiwis: 13.99 cm or 5.5 in
Next ---- Brits: 13.97 cm or 5.5 in
Third ---- Canuckistanis!!!! at: 13.92 cm or 5.5 in
Fourth ---- Aussies: 13.31 cm or 5.2 in
Fifth ---- Yanks: 12.90 cm or 5.1 in
Sixth ----- Paddies: 12.78 cm or 5.0 in

You can see that the metric system allows greater precision. A mere 0.07 cm separates first place from third. We might call that a nose, but maybe not.

And holy shit, it's true!!

Have a good day, and if you find yourself at the bottom of the list, don't worry about it, me lads. It's circumference that counts, not length.