Monday, July 06, 2015

Little Known Facts About History

A Short History of Conservatives and Liberals

"Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals; and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement."

Related: New Study shows Liberals have a lower average IQ than Conservatives

What can I say? Makes sense to me.

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Blogger SnoopyTheGoon said...

I totally buy it. But it shows that liberals have their uses too. Unless one wants to run around with unwashed an uncut hair... and no pedicure!

July 08, 2015 3:58 am  

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