Tuesday, February 10, 2015

More From The...

..."You can't make this shit up" file:

Lebanese TV Parody Mocks Suicide Bombers

The “Real” Reason ISIS Suicide Bombers Are Going On Strike!
"Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of Virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers’ union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, “Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth”."

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Related: Suicide bomb instructor blows up his students

Is ISIS running out of suicide bombers? Terror group suffers shortage of martyrs after dozens of fighters desert or defect to rival militias

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