Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Nit-Picky Little Thing About Americans

Before the leftards of the world pile on, let me be clear. I know "they're not all like that".

What's that you say? That doesn't apply to Americans? Only to radical Muslims? Okay. Okay. Okay.

But I gotta say this anyway. Dear Yanks. Some of you don't know how to spell the nationality of your northern neighbours and that ain't very neighbourly.

Many, many times in comment threads on American blogs I see you referring to us collectively as "Canadiens". What do you think we are? Cheese eating surrender monkeys????!!!!

The proper way to spell that IF YOU ARE WRITING IN ENGLISH and IF YOU ARE REFERRING TO CANADIANS IN GENERAL is Canadians. If you are referring to an individual Canadian (for example, if you want to chastise me for being picky), then it is also Canadian with an "a" between the "i" and the last "n", not an "e".

"Canadiens" (with an "e") is the French spelling. But you should be writing in the French language to spell it with an "e".

But French is not that simple. "Canadiens" refers to the male half of the Canuckistani nation or, to Canadians in general without regard to singling out just those who wear those little socks on their private parts in the winter.

On the other hand, and this is where it gets complicated, if you are writing in the French language about the female half of the population that lives in the Great White North, please be advised that the word is Canadiennes.

That's the way the French language rolls. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is either masculine or feminine and if they really are feminine, and if you really do want to express yourself in the French language, notice there is an "ennes" at the end of the word when referring to females and just an "en" when referring to either males only or citizens of Canada in general.

Now, if you're just a plain vanilla Yank and you don't care about a la Francais, and you want to write or speak in English, then you must use Canadian.

Notice there is no "e" in the word. We use "e" in the word "eh!" instead, so if you really want to use the letter "e" try speaking Canadian for a while. In no time flat, that "eh" will be sliding off your tongue like a toboggan down a hill in winter and you won't even notice you are saying it.

Now, just to make matters worse, if you're a hockey fan, which I suspect is where you get the "Canadien" spelling from, then there is a certain professional hockey team based in the French city of Montreal which is called the Canadiens. Notice the "e". That's because Montreal is a French city and their hockey team is an integral part of the Quebecois (French Canadian) identity. It doesn't matter whether you are speaking or writing in English or French. The Montreal Canadiens is a corporate organization and that is how you spell it.

There is no women's hockey team in the NHL so no one has ever thought to name a professional NHL team the Canadiennes. However, if you are referring to all those good looking babes with boobs from Quebec who speak French and who consider themselves citizens of the country of Canada, they can be collectively be referred to as Canadiennes.

So, to reiterate, if you are speaking French and referring to either males or females in general, OR if you are referring to the hockey team, the Canadiens, then the word has an "e" after the "i".  Bear in mind, these guys on skates are extremely macho and you may get slammed into the boards or have your teeth knocked out with a stick if you refer to them as Canadiennes, since, in essence, you just called them girls.

Is that clear? Nah. I didn't think so. But just remember, unless you are referring to the Montreal based hockey team or you think you are writing in the French language, the word is spelled "Canadian"!  If you ARE referring to the hockey team or you are writing in French, go ahead and use the "e".  Eh!  Love ya!

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Blogger Osumashi Kinyobe said...

Perhaps they are referring to old 18-19th century spelling of the French Canadians- Canadiens.

Doubtful, however.

August 17, 2011 8:03 pm  
Blogger Louise said...

Amounts to the same thing. French spelling.

Nah, these commenters are not likely into 18-19th century spelling as it may have been practiced in Canada.

I suspect it's more likely they are jocks who like to watch hockey and know how to spell the Mo

Sorta like learning French by reading the cereal boxes. LOL!

August 17, 2011 8:17 pm  
Blogger Louise said...

Mo=Montreal Canadiens.

Don't know what happened there.

August 17, 2011 8:18 pm  

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