I Could Have Used ...

...this book about thirty-four years ago: Go the F**k to Sleep

From a review:

""This is the most honest children's book ever written. And it's f*cking hilarious." —A.J. Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically


"Total genius."—Jonathan Lethem, author of Motherless Brooklyn

Go the Fuck To Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Honest, profane, and affectionate, Adam Mansbach's verses and Ricardo Cortés' illustrations perfectly capture the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night, and open up a conversation about parenting in the process. Beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny, Go the Fuck to Sleep is a perfect gift for parents new, old, or expectant. Here is a sample verse:

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep."

This is destined to be a classic, I tell ya.

Actually, I'm going to a three year old's birthday party this coming weekend. Gonna meet my new grandsons at the same time. I might take a couple of copies with me - for the children. The adult children. (Insert evil laugh here.)