Thinking About the Current State of Politics in This Country
...I am waxing nostalgically for the days of the Rhinoceros Party. They had some "honest" to goodness platforms in their policies. I mean, what party promises to keep none of their promises? Then there was the proposal to provide higher education by building taller schools, which was undoubtedly related to the promise to make illiteracy our third official language, and the one to replace the gold standard with the "snow" standard.
They were obviously out of touch with the more touchy-feely do gooders of the day, as they promised to abolish the environment because it was "too hard to keep clean and it took up so much space". They would also have repealed the law of gravity. I mean, who needs that, anyway. They proposed annexing the United States in order to eliminate foreign control of Canada's natural resources, but not before counting the Thousand Islands to determine whether the Americans had stolen any.
They also proposed to turn Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley; to make the Canadian climate more temperate by tapping into the natural resource of hot air in Ottawa (but I think that has happened anyway). Indeed, some enterprising climate scientist should be applying for a grant to study its effects. It could be that elusive hot spot. I'm not sure if they thought that one through, though, as it seems to conflict with the idea of the "snow" standard.
They wanted to change Canada's currency to bubble gum, so it could be inflated or deflated at will and adopt the British system of driving on the left, phased in, of course, with large trucks and tractors first and small cars and bicycles last.
A splinter group in British Columbia proposed running a professional dominatrix for the position of party whip, renaming "British Columbia" to "La La Land", a euphemism which appears to have stuck, making it one of their more successful policy proposals. They advocated merging with the Progressive Conservative Party so as "not to split the silly vote". It seems that might have been one of their better ideas, though, as it is now being pursued by the Liberals, the NDP and the Bloc. My, how things change. Or maybe not. Politicos on the left side of the aisle are always stealing the best ideas from the Cons.
There was even an attempt by a Saskatoon member of the party to nominate his dog, but alas, Elections Canada would not allow it. They did, however, manage to nominate a professional clown/comedian named Sonia "chatouille" Cote in the Laurier riding in Montreal and she came in second in the subsequent election.
As recently as 2007, a Rhinoceros Party member using the fictitious name of Sa Tan, filed a lawsuit against the federal government over the election rules that led to the disbanding of the Rhinoceros party, demanding $50 million in compensation. The lawsuit was filed under the name "Satan versus Her Majesty The Queen". According to news reports, it was a last-ditch effort to save the party from extinction. But alas and a "lack", there is no fun left in Canadian politics any more. (Heavy sigh.) Unless, of course, you take the Green Party at its face value.
Bring back the Rhinos!!! As Peter O'Donnell says over at Jay Currie's blog: The tusk if before us.
They were obviously out of touch with the more touchy-feely do gooders of the day, as they promised to abolish the environment because it was "too hard to keep clean and it took up so much space". They would also have repealed the law of gravity. I mean, who needs that, anyway. They proposed annexing the United States in order to eliminate foreign control of Canada's natural resources, but not before counting the Thousand Islands to determine whether the Americans had stolen any.
They also proposed to turn Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley; to make the Canadian climate more temperate by tapping into the natural resource of hot air in Ottawa (but I think that has happened anyway). Indeed, some enterprising climate scientist should be applying for a grant to study its effects. It could be that elusive hot spot. I'm not sure if they thought that one through, though, as it seems to conflict with the idea of the "snow" standard.
They wanted to change Canada's currency to bubble gum, so it could be inflated or deflated at will and adopt the British system of driving on the left, phased in, of course, with large trucks and tractors first and small cars and bicycles last.
A splinter group in British Columbia proposed running a professional dominatrix for the position of party whip, renaming "British Columbia" to "La La Land", a euphemism which appears to have stuck, making it one of their more successful policy proposals. They advocated merging with the Progressive Conservative Party so as "not to split the silly vote". It seems that might have been one of their better ideas, though, as it is now being pursued by the Liberals, the NDP and the Bloc. My, how things change. Or maybe not. Politicos on the left side of the aisle are always stealing the best ideas from the Cons.
There was even an attempt by a Saskatoon member of the party to nominate his dog, but alas, Elections Canada would not allow it. They did, however, manage to nominate a professional clown/comedian named Sonia "chatouille" Cote in the Laurier riding in Montreal and she came in second in the subsequent election.
As recently as 2007, a Rhinoceros Party member using the fictitious name of Sa Tan, filed a lawsuit against the federal government over the election rules that led to the disbanding of the Rhinoceros party, demanding $50 million in compensation. The lawsuit was filed under the name "Satan versus Her Majesty The Queen". According to news reports, it was a last-ditch effort to save the party from extinction. But alas and a "lack", there is no fun left in Canadian politics any more. (Heavy sigh.) Unless, of course, you take the Green Party at its face value.
Bring back the Rhinos!!! As Peter O'Donnell says over at Jay Currie's blog: The tusk if before us.
Labels: Canadian politics, Rhinoceros Party
posted by Louise at 3:28 pm
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