Good News and Hopeful Speculation

(added) and dumb asses.

First the good news:

Khamenei said to be in coma

Die, you bastard. (Check our the comments beneath that article. A reader named Herr Morgenholz makes this hilarious remark: "Hopefully, they can keep this one in the coffin when the time comes." He's referring, of course, to the occasion of the death the Ruhollah Khomeinei back in 1989, when the old goat's body fell out of the coffin as mourners were carrying it to the cemetery.)

Now the hopeful speculation:

Petraeus for President

And the dumb ass, literally:

Man dragged when pants get caught while mooning train